Inconsiderate husband buys himself 2 phones in a row, promising his wife he'll get her a new one too, but never does and just insists on giving her his old one

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Sep 20, 2026 3:15 PM EDT

Some people can be inconsiderate towards their loved ones even without intending to be, but they sure shouldn't complain when we let them know they're being less than nice. 

That's pretty much what happened to a woman and her husband. The husband chose to upgrade his phone and told his wife he would get her a new one too. After a year, he upgraded his phone again. And, you guessed it, he never bought his wife the phone he promised. He tried afterwards to give her his already-used phone, which she declined. Now he keeps telling her over and over again that she hurt his feelings for not accepting the phone he 'bought' for her. 

The thing is, he doesn't realize what he's doing. He's literally giving her his leftovers. His hand-me-down phone is not a new phone, and he should realize that. The issue here is not the phone itself; no one gets mad about a phone. No, the problem is that he's acting like he doesn't care about her, doesn't think about her or what she wants, and he's not considering her worthy of making an extra effort to give her something she likes. It could be the phone; it could be a date in the park; we're not specifically talking bout money here. One can be inconsiderate with or without money. Attention to detail and thinking about your partner is what matters, whether that entails having enough money to upgrade their phone or just enough for a picnic in a nice garden. The worst part of this story is that the guy never got the point. He keeps thinking that his wife is ungrateful and that he didn't do anything wrong. Let's just hope his wife can explain to him the real issue. But, on second thought, maybe he should realize that on his own. He's a big boy after all, and needs to understand that giving someone else your leftovers, whether that be a partner, a friend, or whoever, is never flattering, and it's not considered effort. 

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  • AITA for not accepting a phone my husband was giving me.

    This incident occurred last year and my husband has raised it at every opportunity to let me know just how much I have hurt him.
    via Logical8963
  • Backstory- A few years ago I purchased matching phones for my husband and myself. A couple years after that my husband wanted to upgrade and decided to
    via Logical8963
  • purchase a new phone. After he purchased that phone he indicated to me that he was going to upgrade mine in a few months. This didn't happen.
    via Logical8963
  • 5:12 31 Google Calendar Photos Clock A 三の Reminders App Store Notes fo Facebook 11 Uber Settings 23 WhatsApp Google Maps Paytm Messenger 22 Paytm S Calcbot C Σ Gmail ว airtel My Airtel ta caps lock shift Zoho Mail Slack Music f* 110 B'days Day Stars Buffer 67 Instagram ་་ Hangouts fn control
    via Rahul Chakraborty for Unsplash+

    One of the new phones.

    Stock photography for depiction only.

  • About a year or a year and a half after that purchase he upgraded again. This time he didn't inform me beforehand that he was
    via Logical8963
  • upgrading. He left early apparently went to a friend's house and transferred the first updated phone into the new updated phone.
    via Logical8963
  • When he got home the following morning he showed me the new phone excitedly and then attempted to give me the first
    via Logical8963
  • updated phone which I declined to accept. He ask me why I didn't want it at the time I just told him that I just didn't want it. Truth be told i was hurt.
    via Logical8963
  • He then offered me the new updated phone that all of his information was already transferred into. I also declined as I saw how excited he was with his new phone.
    via Logical8963
  • He still to this day accuses me of hurting his feelings very badly as he bought me a phone and i didn't accept it. So I humbly ask AITA?
    via Logical8963
  • Cheezburger Image 10664782080
    via Fotos for Unsplash+

    The husband and wife upset over the phone issue. 

    Not actual story subjects.

  • FeralWineSips You need to tell him that giving you his hand me down is not the same as buying you a phone. He bought himself two new phones. You were expected to be grateful for his scraps. NTA
    via FeralWineSips
  • dndro13 He didn't buy you sh**! He tried to pass off his cast off. NTA.
    via dndro13
  • Yesterdayschild 64 This has nothing to do with the phone and everything to do with his thought process.....or lack there of. She needs to move on.
    via Yesterdayschild64
  • higeAkaike Why are you hurt? You can get a new phone for yourself. I am confused.
    via higeAkaike
  • random_name628 NTA. He knew he messed up but wanted to turn it around.
    via random_name628
  • Skankyho1 Your husband is selfish and inconsiderate. The fact that he bought himself two new phones and expected you to take his old one really is r de and inconsiderate.
    via Skankyho1
  • FallJealous3344 NTA. What an out of touch with reality your husband has... maybe you should soon buy the latest and greatest and then offer him your old phone.
    via FallJealous3344
  • crazySquirrel67 Reminds me of my ex-fiance that gave me an old $20 dry rotted saddle for Christmas one year and expected me to absolutely love it.
    via crazySquirrel67
  • Bank_More NTA and he was less than generous, but why are you not choosing and buying your own phone?
    via Bank_More

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Tags

upgrade leftovers feelings technology phone wife buying a phone husband family new phone Reddit old phone
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